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kel0131
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Name: Kel
Birthday: 10/16/1982
Gender: Male
Interests: Jesus, accoustic guitar, music, poetry/songwriting, hanging with friends, Dancing (notice i didn't say "bump and grind" that's not dancing), Wesley Foundation. Youth Pastoring is a new passion of mine
Expertise: not so much talking, but writing and thinking too much perhaps listening? i'm decent at many things a master of none
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  kellasatou
Member Since:
2/12/2003
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| I played a couple rounds of golf this weekend with my main man Andy and I must say that I have refound my love for this game. I'm not all that great at it, but i really never play so that's to be expected I suppose. The whole dynamic is just fun though, as long as you don't take it too seriously. I guess that's how most sports are, they are meant to be fun and to challenge you, as long as you don't take them too seriously. I don't know, I just love to be able to go out and spend some time with friends and challenge myself and them in a way that's healthy and fun. I've also been playing softball which has been a blast, baseball is my original lover when it comes to sports, i played for almost 16 years and loved it so getting to go back out on the diamond is a lot of fun, although i'm finding that my arm can't take as much throwing as it used to. Oh well, i suppose i have to get older sometime. Speaking of older I turned 25 this week, that was really nice. My wife really strives to have me feel loved on these special occasions and its just wonderful, she really is an amazing woman. i guess birthdays have never really been a big deal to me, I guess i just never saw the importance of marking the day i was born. woo, i made it another year without dying, lets have some cake. But it is nice to have that time to celebrate yourself and with people like leanne around, it will probably become a favorite time of mine during the year. School is going pretty well, i have a paper and a midterm this week so i'm busy til fri. I'll see everyone on the flipside. -Kel | | |
| So yeah, seminary began this week and I have to say that I am pretty excited about some of the things that I am learning. I think what I'm going to start doing with this blog is posting some of the more interesting thoughts/subjects that I am learning about here. If you are interested in keeping up with Leanne and I, I suggest going to our new website http://kel.penny.googlepages.com/home
From there you can view our new shared blog to keep up with our happenings, there are also links to pics and our other internet adventures like facebook and myspace. anywho, onto a cool thing that I learned today and wanted to write about.
Am I like Judas?
I never really thought about it before but my professor brought up some interesting points about what was going on about Judas, some background info and such. If you ask this question to most people they would probably answer definitely not. There is no way that they could betray God, especially if He was right next to us. Lets begin by reviewing a bit about what we know about Judas, and the time surrounding the betrayal of Jesus.
Judas is referred to by either Judas Iscariotes or Judas Iscarioth. Now, Iscarioth and Iscariotes are the same word in two translations, hebrew and greek. Essentially they mean "from Iscariot". Well there has actually never been a place called Iscariot, the closest would be Karioth. Another view of the term is actually a play on the word Sicarii. The sicarri were actually a sect of the Zealots and the Zealots were a sect of the Pharisees. The Pharisees as we all know were considered to be Holy men in Jerusalem that took very seriously to living out many rules around the Torah so as to keep holy. The zealots which was a sect of the Pharisees actually went around to make sure that people were following these guidelines. Paul was one of these and that's why he before Damascus was persecuting Christians. The Sicarii were actually something a little different from the Zealots. They actually were a sect that was trying to bring about the fall of the Roman empire. The translation for Sicarii means "Dagger man". What they would do would be to go about crowded streets and find Roman officials of power and discretely slip a dagger between their ribs and then disappear back into the crowd. They hoped that this incur the wrath of Rome so that they would start a war with Israel. They believed that they would win this war because God would be on their side. So, now that we know who the Sicarii are, how do we get to where Judas is one and why is it important? Well if someone were to be known as a Sicarii and would be named for that, they would be known as Ish-Sicariioth or "man of sicarri" many times when speaking this name it would be very easy to say it all together and the SH sound would be omitted so we would get Isscariioth. or Iscarioth, which is what Judas is called in the New Testament. In greek, there is no SH letter or sound so the name would have been translated into Iscariotes.
Now why is this important to realizing what Judas did? Well lets first bring up some interesting questions:
Why did Judas betray Jesus with a Kiss?
Why did Judas feel bad about what he did and try to repent of it?
Why did Judas, when he couldn't fix what he had done commit suicide?
Why did Judas say to the soldiers to "take Jesus away safely" if he really didn't care about Him?
Why when Jesus said at the last supper that "one of you will betray me" did everyone act like they were guilty?
Why when the guards came to take Jesus away were the disciples armed and so ready to fight?
OK lets go through this from a different angle than usual. So Judas is a Sicarii, which means that he was apart of a faction that wants to see the Kingdom of Israel restored. Many Jews believed that this would happen during the time of Passover and Judas believed that Jesus was the Messiah and that He was going to be the military leader to bring about this huge battle against the Roman Empire. So imagine that when Jesus comes to Jerusalem at Passover and make the Messianic entrance to the city with palm leaves, on a donkey, the whole nine yards. Judas has a plan with the other disciples. All they would have to do is have the Romans arrest Jesus and this would start a revolution. There are so many Jews from around the world in Jerusalem right now and more on the way, this would be perfect. So Judas starts plotting this with the other disciples and he is going to be the one to go and get the guards to arrest Jesus, but first the last supper. Jesus says that one of the 12 will betray him and all 12 wonder if it were them. Doesn't that seem odd that all twelve would wonder is only one was plotting something? Then the planned night comes and the disciples are out with Jesus while Judas goes and gets the guards. The disciples are armed. I don't remember any other time in the Gospels that you here about the disciples carrying weapons and being ready for war. Then Judas arrives with the Roman guards at his tail. He walks up to Jesus and gives him a kiss, as if to say, its cool I got this all under control and I'll be seeing you soon. He then tells the guards to take him away safely. This definitely doesn't sound like someone who is really there to doom Jesus. Then the disciples attack the guards, The revolution was beginning! but just as quickly is was ended by Jesus who told them all to put down their weapons. He healed the guard's ear and He went quietly with them. The disciples were shocked and none more than Judas. What had he done? He had just delivered his Messiah into the hands of people that hated and wanted to kill Him. How would you feel? Would you try to go and make it right? to give back the silver? What if they refused and you heard that your Messiah was going to be killed? How much would your guild be? How much was his?
Judas's betrayal seems interesting when cast in this light. He really didn't want to hurt Jesus all along and it really seems that he didn't even want to betray Him. But he tried to use Jesus and His power to accomplish Judas's own means. He betrayed the purposes of God. This seems like something that is a bit less sinister than someone who openly was out to get Jesus. It seems like something that might even happen to people throughout time. Does using God's name to accomplish our own personal goals seem like something that we are capable of? Is it something that your are capable of? Think about it.
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| so i've been doing a lot of thinking and a lot of feeling lately. I think i had a moment today, as with many moments i've had in my life, i was listening to caedmon's call in the car. I just heard a lot of things that rang true to my heart, i love how music can do that to you.
i've been thinking alot about the people that are in my life and how i'm missing some of them and am going to miss more of them when i move away and how there are going to be new people that i can get close to. For an introverted guy that doesn't always show his feelings well, this is a lot on the ol' feeling plate to sort through.
40 Acres
Out on these Texas plains you can see for a million lives
And there's a thousand exits between here and the state line
About the last time that I saw you
You said call me Pandora, call me a fool
And I'm thinking this view it could do you some good
So drop these scales and take a look
There's 40 acres and redemption to be found
Just along down the way
There is a place where no plow blade has turned the ground
And you will turn it over, 'cause out here hope remains
'Cause out here hope remains...
Out here the Texas sky is as big as the sea
And you're alone in your room like an island floating free
Your spirit's hanging in a bottle out on a tree
You say that you're the black sheep, I say you're still family
So throw that bottle to the waves
They'll bring you in to me and from the shore you will see
Out here the Texas rain is the hardest I've ever seen
It'll wash your house away, but it'll also make you clean
Now these rocks they are crying too
And this whole land is calling out for you
listening to this song just reminded me of different people. There are the black sheeps and the pandoras, the great friends and the friends that i'm growing to love more and more. there's my brothers that have always been there for me and now sisters that have really grown into my heart, though it took a while. but through all this there is a little piece of land just down the road, and this place is the place where i am going. redemption is there for everyone and i must keep that in my heart and as a goal. I am not settled yet, sadly probably not even close, though my heart longs for it, for my own 40 acres. I can't even fathom the amount of people that will be a part of my life by the time that i'm 50. but i guess my heart will just have to grow, because i'm sure there will be more and the relationships that i already have will only get deeper.
There is a place where no plow blade has turned the ground And you will turn it over, 'cause out here hope remains
I've also been really thinking about sin and my heart, the status of my soul, and all the problems that seem to plague me and really harm the ones that i love the most. i feel that over the years that i've done a lot of good and i've been a pretty great person, but that doesn't mean that i can just ride that wave and not better myself. that doesn't mean that i'm finished. I guess for me there is a need a realize that i'm a long way from being where i need to be, the funny thing is is that i know this with my brain i just need to realize it in my heart. This is where pride comes into affecting my life. If there is one great struggle that i've always had to deal with its pride. I know exactly where i get it from, my father. my father was a great man, but he was pretty full of himself. he even had a mirror in the bathroom that read "Damn I'm Good" it was cool, and I've always thought of myself much like my dad, but without many of his faults, well, i should have known better.
Where I Began
The grass looked greener on the other side
So I tried to, snatch myself from your hand
Caught a boat to anywhere but Nineveh
And, well you know, I got spit back on dry land.
Verse 1:
Give me purity and give me continence
But oh no, not yet.
Like a coin hiding in the corner
Trying not to be swept
And I was trying not to be swept.
Kicking against these goads
Sure did cut up my feet
And didn't your hands get bloody
As you washed them clean (you washed them!),
Chorus:
Here I am again, back where I began
Try as I may I can't get away from you
And all of these roads lead me to roam,
Bring me back home.
Here I am again, back where I began.
Verse 2:
So you have yourself your ninety nine (ninety nine),
Isn't that enough for you?
Still you followed me to the shadowed valley
Carried me on your shoulders too.
I've done the work of Sisyphus
Thinking that I could get over this hill
But the one thing I can't get over now...(is the)
Is the force of your will.
Chorus x2
You washed them clean!! it resounds in my heart and i am in awe with the repentance that God gives us. there has been many a discussion on the status of man and sin and if we should rejoice in our forgiveness and humbly regret our many sins, i believe that there is a place for both, but if you take one without the other you may find yourself living dangerously close to bad things either way. one way you are living in pride and not really taking account of your actions and the other way you are not praising the God, the very sustainer of your life that gives you breath and allows you to live. God deserves our praise and thanksgiving, but also calls us to walk humbly.
speaking of my heart, but feeling that at times "I've done the work of Sisyphus, Thinking that I could get over this hill" I feel like i've been working for the last couple of years just to get by. and there have been great times and i must say that i've been truly happy and content with the life that i have, but with seminary edging ever closer, i must admit that my heart seems to be coming more alive. maybe that's not the way to really put it, maybe it feels more like my cup is flowing more and beginning to brim. I just feel that there are lot of great things on the horizon and i really feel that this is the direction that God is leading us in.
Strike this rock with your rod
I'll take the blows
Till your living water begins to flow
As it flowed from the Man of Sorrows' side
On that day when his body
Was torn for the twelve tribes
living water flowing not only in me, but also out of me. a purpose to fulfill, a life to live. so many desires does my heart have, but there are precious few that can really bring me joy and only one that will lead me.
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| I <3 David Crowder right now for two reasons.
1. He is writing a new album and is constantly updating his blog, its on the left in my friends category, he is emprise34. you should check it out. its awesome.
2. I'm reading the book that he and mike hogan wrote. Its called, Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven but Nobody Wants to Die: or the Eptimology of Bluegrass. being someone who has read a few books on death and grieving, might i just say that this one its pretty good thus far. its really just kind of gone through a history of the soul and talked about death and the very real experiences of the authors, but at the same time it is witty and light. i'm enjoying it immensely and would suggest it to anyone who has ever really dealt with the issue of death.
i'm out. peace. -kel
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| and you thought i was done with xanga....
so i'm listening to the christian radio today and i'm listening to this song and its kind of catchy. The verse goes,
My Savior loves,
my savior lives,
my savior is always there for me
My God He was
my God He is
My God He's always going to be.
about a thousand times and that's the chorus. like i said its
catchy. Then i started to think about this song and all the other
songs and cliche sayings that many Christians say that amount to "God
is always there for me" and i realized something today that i never
realized before. That saying this is something that comes from
way down deep. You see God being there for you at all times said
from someone who's lived a charmed life, doesn't say near as much as
someone who says it that's been through severe emotional
loss/trauma/wow. For you to truly say that God is always with
you, you have had to come through hell and back. I don't think
that this is a saying that i want to take for granted anymore, even
though i would say that i've gone through quite a bit of trauma in my
life, i know that there are more people that are worse off then
I. Reminds me of another song. I shall end with the lyrics
for you to ponder:
I did not catch her name
I did not catch her tears
But they hit me like a train
When her story hit my ears
Mother of eight sons
Father off to war
Got no home address
Just bricks on a dirt floor
And she said, "Jesus is all I need"
Tiny plot of land
Corn stored up in piles
The years it doesn't rain
They just stay hungry for a while
With no fatted calf to kill
She made a feast of cuy and corn and said
Who else knew my name before
The day that I was born
Jesus is all I need
Jesus is all I need
And she bragged about her boys
And how they're growing into men
And how the learned to praise the Lord
Old style Ecuadorian
But to buy the new guitar
We had to sell the swine
See my boys go to school on a foreign angel's dime
This world calls me poor
I bore my babies on this floor
But He always provides
Sure as the sun will rise
So I sing Him songs of praise
'Cause I know He keeps me in His gaze
Rain fell from the sky
We raced back to the van
Tears in the eyes
Of this poor forgetful man
Mother of eight sons
She knows the peace of God
Lord, help me learn to lean on
Thy staff and Thy rod
Jesus is all I need
Jesus is all I need
Jesus is all I need
Jesus is all I need
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